2.08.2005
The Art of Forgiving
"I hold no grudge. There’s no resentment underneath. I’ll extend the laurel wreath and we’ll be friends, but right there is where it ends..." ~Nina Simone, I Hold No Grudge
I like to think of myself as progressive. I also like to believe I can do anything if I truly put my mind to it. But when it comes to forgiveness man...it all seems to fall apart. I’m not saying I can’t forgive, or that I haven’t forgiven in the past, because I have. But then there are those situations when the injustices are so great forgiveness becomes well, improbable. And if one is able to forgive the likelihood of forgetting or moving beyond the pain associated with the act is often impossible. This, is where I find myself, stuck somewhere between forgiveness and the complicated task of forgetting.
Uncomfortable, uncomfortable, uncomfortable. For me and all those involved. I know holding onto the pain only prolongs its effects. I realize reliving the moment—the incident—over and over again only puts me right back in the thick of it. I know this, and yet I continuously find myself there, remembering, reflecting, and hurting—like it’s the first time all over again.
Luke 6:37 says "Forgive and you will be forgiven."
Mother Teresa says, "Go behind the apparent circumstances of the situation and locate the love in yourself, and all others involved in the situation."
My question is: How do you do this and move beyond the situation, if you find it increasingly difficult to forget the frustrations associated with the situation?
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I like to think of myself as progressive. I also like to believe I can do anything if I truly put my mind to it. But when it comes to forgiveness man...it all seems to fall apart. I’m not saying I can’t forgive, or that I haven’t forgiven in the past, because I have. But then there are those situations when the injustices are so great forgiveness becomes well, improbable. And if one is able to forgive the likelihood of forgetting or moving beyond the pain associated with the act is often impossible. This, is where I find myself, stuck somewhere between forgiveness and the complicated task of forgetting. Uncomfortable, uncomfortable, uncomfortable. For me and all those involved. I know holding onto the pain only prolongs its effects. I realize reliving the moment—the incident—over and over again only puts me right back in the thick of it. I know this, and yet I continuously find myself there, remembering, reflecting, and hurting—like it’s the first time all over again.
Luke 6:37 says "Forgive and you will be forgiven."
Mother Teresa says, "Go behind the apparent circumstances of the situation and locate the love in yourself, and all others involved in the situation."
My question is: How do you do this and move beyond the situation, if you find it increasingly difficult to forget the frustrations associated with the situation?
